Does Prayer Change God's Mind?

I am slowly inching my way through Deuteronomy, when I came across this question in my Bible.
Here's the answer: "Though most believe the Bible affirms that God know beforehand what we will ask and how He will answer, it is spiritually beneficial for us to pray. Moses interceded on behalf on the people, and God, wanting to forgive, heard his prayer. Yet it seems that God would have destroyed the people, if Moses didn't stand up for them. This is the part if the mystery of how human activities relates to God's sovereignty." (Quest Bible-Deut. 9:19).

So why pray? Can God change his mind? (Question from Quest Bible) Answer: " Scripture teaches us that God does not change his mind, but sometimes adjusts his answer to fit our response. The Bible contains many examples of this. (Numbers. 14:11-23; 29:19; 1 Samuel 15:29); Hezekiah's repentance on behalf of Israel (2Chron. 29:3-10,36) and the sparing of Nineveh ( Jonah 3:1-10).

Experiencing God's will is dynamic. As with any interpersonal relationship, God's relationship with humanity involves unexpected twists and turns. God modifies his responses to ours; we adjust our responses to God's. So, in a sense, it can be said that God sometimes changes his mind in response to our prayers.

At the same time, God's will is determined. There are decrees and promises he has made that do not change. He kept his covenant with the Israelites( Deut. 7:7-8) and keeps his new covenant with those who believe in Jesus(John 6:37-40,44).

God wants us to do his will obediently. He has predetermined ways he expects us to respond, but he has made us capable of resisting him (Ps. 143:10; 1 Thes. 5:16-18; Heb. 10:35-39; 2 Peter 3:9).

These aspects of God's will work together. It is not possible for us to understand exactly how they work together, but God is ultimately in control. We might compare the relationship between God, his will and his people to a chess match between a novice player and a master. The novice can make any move he chooses and the master will respond accordingly. But the master will always be in control of the game. This analogy is limited and should not be pressed to far, but God's people "win" when the Master's will is done." (Quest Bible Exodus 32:14).

My thoughts:
Prayer is a daily reminder that we are not in control. When we try to be in control, we can mess up God's original plan for us. We can make life so much harder for ourselves when we choose not to listen.

What if Moses had never begged for mercy on the Israelites? Would history have been rewritten? I think there are some questions we won't get answers to. I know some people say that you can ask when you get to Heaven, but I doubt I'll care once I am there. I will be the most content that one person can be......now content, that's another blog for another day!

Cool Christian Wear

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www.datomana.com (I love the Satan Sucks Shirt)


www.adifferentdirection.com


Don't forget your C3 shirt!

Nothing to Say!

I have no words or wisdom. I am slowing making my way through Deuteronomy. I did just order two new books. Chazown and Blue Like Jazz . Thanks Amanda and Andrea for the recommendations. I am looking foward to reading. I might have to start a new blogger page.

I loved all the music at Church this Sunday. Every song, which is unusual. Travis did a great job. It was about fear. I think I just blogged about that.

Speaking of fear.....Thursday night it was lightning really bad. It reminded me of the scene in War of the Worlds, when the storm comes in and it is lightning one after another. There was probably 5 seconds between each strike for 20 min. straight. It was the craziest thing ever! Needless to say, we hid in the hallway. I swear lightning stuck at the side of our house. It knocked the power out for about 30 min.

I am so thankful I did my hair earlier that day. I went to see Riverdale at H20 Church. It used to be 8 seconds. Lot of old college memories there. I loved it! It is one of the coolest churches(beside C3!) that I've been in. The best part was the pastor said: Pissed Off! and Crap! Crap is on of my favorite words.

O.K., that's all I have. Talk with you tomorrow!

Ward on the go!

New pics on other site.

To the Beach

I decided to meet a friend in Daytona this afternoon. We parked in the sand, I didn't want to drag everything down by myself. My friend, Angela, was scared her minivan might get stuck. The sand looked pretty packed though. Needless to say, when we left it was a different story. I went forward and felt it stick, so I went backwards until I could find a place that was safe to turnaround. I did pretty good. I was a little worried that Angela wouldn't make it. But being the good friend I am , I left anyways. I was afraid to stop once I got going.

I kept waiting to hear from her on the way home. It rang! She informed me that she got stuck and six guys had to help her out. The tide was coming in and she was starting to panic. She had to put her car halfway in the ocean to get out.

I know this feeling. Right before Angela got married, when went to her classroom late one night to pack up her room. We decided to go through the grass in a gated area, closer to her classroom. This part I am a little shady remembering. I think we went on in her classroom. When I came out. Water was everywhere. I tried to move my car. I moved about 3 inches and behind me a geyser shot out of the ground! We panicked. My Cherokee's bumper was almost underwater. It was sinking at an angle.

Angela called her good friend Sue, who lived near the school. She called AAA. They said they would be there in a hour. I told them there would be nothing left to tow in an hour, so they came pretty fast and saved the day.

I just remember how horrible I felt and how panicked I felt. I thought I was going to have to pay to fix the pipe. Everything worked out and nothing major happened.

It is amazing how our emotions get the best of us in stressful situations that we cannot control. I watched United 93 a couple of nights ago. I tried to imagine what it would be like to know that your were more than likely going to die in less than an hour. I am sure that sick feeling that I felt watching more car sink is only 0.01% of what they felt.

I wish I could have that attitude that today was my last day. Imagine all the things I would want to accomplish and make sure are done before I died. I would be a bolder witness. I would want to make sure that all my family members and friends are saved. I want those things now, I just put them off. Tomorrow is another day. Which you and I both know, is not always the case.

All the stupid things we let bother us or consume us, would seem so less trivial. The thoughts that keep us up at night and enter our head again in the morning would seem like such a waste of time.

I pray I would use my time left on earth more wisely. Consume my head with the thoughts that God would want me to. Lay my burdens on His chest and really mean it! Of coarse....easier said than done!

Home Teams

When the idea of home teams was first introduced at my church, I let a lot of negative thoughts enter my head. Maybe because I knew I wouldn't be able to hide in the background of Sunday School anymore. I would have to participate and act like I was knowledgeable. I had a lot of really stupid ideas of why I thought this was a bad idea.

Of coarse I now think differently. I was watching Syriana last night. There is a scene where a group of men are gathered in a circle discussing faith and religion. Now I didn't agree with what they were talking about, but it got me thinking about Home Teams. Rather it is for good or evil, I think smaller groups can be more influential. ( as I am writing this, Heath just ate a dog biscuit!) I know I am more likely to be held accountable.

I think the hardest part of Home Teams is getting new members or visitors involved. I try to picture myself going to a new church and having to find a home team to go to. I'll be honest, it would take a lot for me to go to a strangers house and participate. I think I would have to make a connection at church first before I would go. You have to feel comfortable to share.


I pray in the next year God will help me make new connections and invite more people to Home Teams. I pray He helps me step out of my comfort zone!

Sabbath....Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, etc......

I really enjoyed Barry's message Sunday. A few weeks ago I watched another sermon on t.v. by another pastor on the same subject. A much more legalistic approach. He went so far as to say you shouldn't even go to dinner on the Sabbath. So what's he going to eat. Because if he were my husband, he'd be very hungry.

There is a part of me that wish stores and restaurants were closed on Sunday. Only for the simple fact, I think it would make us stay home with our families and rest. But being realistic, this is not going to happen. So the fact is, it is up to us to pick our Sabbath Day. Traditionally church has always been held on Sunday. But in Old Testament, it was held on Saturday. Saturday was considered the last day of the week. The day believed the God rested after he finished creating the world.

I really think God is more interested in us having a Sabbath, more than he is on what day of the week it is. That is why I think it is great that some churches run services on different days of the week. My mom goes on Saturday night and loves it. In fact, it is a packed house on Saturday nights.

Rule Follower

I was in bed last night thinking about who's right and who's wrong. I mean this it a generalization type way. (don't think that is a sentence, but oh-well). Who's rules are the right ones and who's are the wrong ones. For example, if the rule at work/church/wherever was the a/c had to be set at 72, I would be all for that rule. But.....if it was anything above 75, I would have a problem. I would not like that rule. I would complain and be angry. Hot air makes me angry anyways! And if the a/c was not lowered, I would leave. Knowing there is no hope for it to ever be set the way I want it to. Same thing would go if I had to wear panty hose or high heels! In life, we always argue the rules we don't like. Remember being a teenager!

I am a rule follower(most of the time). I don't like to be in charge, except at home=). I can't handle the pressure of failing or someone being mad at me. I could never fire someone or reprimand an employee. I know this is why God gave us all special talents and abilities.

So what do we do, when we don't like the rules. Do we "Go Gabriel" in the words of Ed Young. In many instances, I have seen when not submitting to God's authority or the authority of the people God has placed in our lives, has lead to misery and unrest.

It Is Good To Be Uncomfortable

This morning I am going to type for a little before I come up with a title. I had one last night, but I forgot it.

I got to visit the future site for C3 last night. I am excited to think about the all the new possibilities that the move to the theater will bring.

It's funny, last night we (Andrea, Amanda, and Ariel) were talking about how our church has opened doors to a whole new variety of people. Even people we might have "burned at the stake" a few years ago because of their lifestyle. I ask myself, "Who will show these people Christ's love?" Before I would have been appalled to think "these" people could be in my church influencing my children. But, like I said.....Who will show them Christ's love? What church will these people go to? Am I expecting first for these people to be saved by some street missionary, before they are allowed in church? Or a seminar on how to act in church or the right and wrong things to say when you first start coming. No, of course not.

A while back I read something that Ed Young said at a conference about members feeling uncomfortable at church. Actually here are a couple of the comments that freaked me out when I first read them.

• "The moment people stop leaving is the moment you stop leading."
• "Every time you go to the next level, people will leave." Both staff and volunteers.

I thought there must be something wrong with this thinking if we are chasing good Christian members away. I now understand, because I was one of these negative people who misunderstood C3's vision.

It is not about me. I am excited to be a part of a church who has a desire to reach unchurched. I am glad that we don't have the same predictable service every Sunday. I am excited thinking about all the new people who have walked in the doors in the past year. It just goes to show how many people in the community were searching for a new church home......but may not have walked through the doors with the Baptist name on the sign. I can't tell you how many people I have invited in the past who wouldn't come the minute they find out I go to a Baptist church. I trust Orlando has enough Baptist churches for people wanting a Baptist church.

So in closing, I am glad that I was uncomfortable with all the changes. I needed a wake up call. I was way to comfortable with church and forgot about what God has called me to do. True joy comes from being in God's will for your life. I have to tell you.....I haven't ever experienced anything like this. I now know why when I saw my friends go through the meat grinder and attacked for trying to do what God called them to do......I saw joy. I saw the excitement in their lives. Peace has come!!!!!!

It is still raining!

The good news is the a/c is going to be half the price because we found a friend of Jeff's dad who is going to do it. The bad news is it has taken so long. I am still in Melbourne.

When I got back from Texas the vet bill on Brewer was over $200.00 and I just saw a worm in his poop. Can only imagine how much that is going to cost! This dog has already cost me way too much! I won't post the amount, let's just say I could have taken a very nice vacation. Lesson learned, don't get a dog.

I think I am going to have to find a part time job!

Last night I started thinking about salvation. In the past I used to think, invite them to church....the pastor will preach a convicting message and they will go forward. While I do think this will work for some, I know for a vast majority that it will not. I think there are also some who will go forward and then never step foot back in church. Why is this? I can think of many different answers and reasons. I try to think of the excuses I use and my friends and family use.

There is also a whole other group of people. The ones who practically live at church. I know this is not true of all, but I have to say.....I never hear stories of these people bringing any one to Christ. So what went wrong? When did we get so comfortable? I was so caught up in church, I forgot what God has called me to do. I left the job up to people I thought were more experienced and qualified!

Imagine if it was written on our tombstone how many people we lead to Christ or at your funeral a slide show of the pictures of these people were shown. Being a Christian since 15, I should be ashamed. The good news is today is a fresh start. Instead of being known for all the great accomplishment I've done(which isn't much!). I want to be known for the love I showed others in Christ. I hope all this is making sense. I tend to go off in my own little world that only I understand!

I have to tell you, I wake up everyday....knowing God has something special planned for me. I just keep praying I don't miss out!

When It Rains, It Pours!

I can't believe it has taken me this long to start back blogging. I don't have the patience to blog on my phone. My head starts spinning if I am on it to long, looking at the little screen. I am actually in Melbourne. When I got back from Texas, I noticed that the a/c wasn't working. This was on Mon., they won't be out until late tomorrow. It was a least 90 in the house when I left.

Texas was awesome. I spent three hours shopping at a mall, without children. It was relaxing. I also went inside the Dallas Cowboy Stadium. It was really neat to see everyone out on the field running around. We took a lot of pics in the center of the star in the middle of the field. I'll post some later when ever I get home! Andrea and I actually ran the whole field. That's the most I've run in 4 months!

That night was great too! It was so neat to hear every one's amazing stories from Beaumont, TX. This group of youth that went were awesome. It seemed like everyone bonded. I wish I had made it out for that part of the trip. Though I won't lie, I got the relaxing end of the deal!

Sat. we went to Six Flags. I think I thought I was 16 again. My mind could ride the rides, but not my body. The Texas Giant(wooden roller coaster) tore me up! I knew the minute it started, my back would pay the price. I can't remember the next ride, but we all blacked out at one point! Can't be good! That place was crazy. The youth had a ball!

Sunday was my favorite day. We went to Fellowship. It has some of the most amazing facilities. I got goose bumps entering! The stage was really cool! They had light bulbs hanging from wires in free air. The service had a collection of short videos from Ed Young's visit to Australia to Hillsong. (OK.....mission trip to Australia.)

I want to go back again sometime. There is such an energy! It gets me pumped for C3! During the service I could see how some people would be critical. My grandmother would run out the door. The loud music and guitar would be enough for her!

It got me thinking about how church has evolved over the years. I remember when reading music from an overhead instead of a hymnal was a big deal. Even more so, a pastor in a polo shirt. I can't tell you how thankful I am that panty hose are a thing of the past and flip flops are trendy! I should have been born in the late 90's!

The one thing that surprised me about Fellowship was the wide range of people. You had older people. Fancy looking people. People who looked like they had just come from the beach. People in jeans, short, flip flops, etc. It was great. Everyone there to worship the same God!

It's amazing how in the past few months, how much I've grown and changed. I know I was saved, but I was dead inside. I had forgotten what true joy in Christ is. Once I let go of all the things I thought I had to do to impress others, I found true peace. I went to church for all the wrong reasons. I never wanted to be involved because I was afraid I was never good enough or smart enough. Again, nothing that anyone had ever done to me. I think I was afraid that I was not good enough to lead some one to Christ. A lie from Satan!

While in Texas I was given an opportunity to share Christ with a young girl. I knew what she was going through. She felt like she had never truly been saved. I think she was looking for this magical feeling or transformation that happened immediately and never left. Like you would always have that feeling of a spiritual high after you pray the prayer! I think it is especially hard to be a Christian in a family who really doesn't understand what it means to be saved. It is also confusing. You want the approval of your parents, but they might not get it. This girl did not want to pray , she said she didn't like people praying with her. It made her uncomfortable. I shared with her how she could know she was saved and know for sure it was for eternity. I don't know if she made a decision or prayed by herself, but I will continue to pray for her on a daily basis.

I think sharing my faith is the hardest thing for me to do, because I don't have a lot of experience and I am always afraid I am going to mess someone up for life. I am not always good with words or expressing myself. I get nervous and make mistakes. I just don't want my shortcomings to hinder me from leading someone to Christ.

I hope in the future I have more experiences like this. I know I look for them more on a daily basis then I did before. I am definitely a little bit more confident. I guess the thought of some one spending eternity in Hell scares me.

OK....that's all for now!

Opps

I my recent blog I wrote way to fast. I wrote love the sin, not the sinner. I fixed it now. I am such a dork! Thanks to my editor, I'd be lost without you!

I am going to Fellowship Church in Grapvine, Texas

I am so excited! I am flying out to Dallas on Friday to meet up with the youth group at C3. I am a little sad I missed out on the work they are doing in Beaumont, Texas. But I'll take what I can get.
The main reason I want to go, is so I can go to Ed Young's church. I feel like I owe him an apology. His name came up many times through the transition of our church from Parkway to C3. People thought this man had poisoned our church. They accused him of using "water-downed" tactics to bring people to Christ.
I got caught up in the gossip and judgement too. I thought if church didn't look or act a certain way, we would not produce "cookie cutter Christians". The ones who wear Sunday Best. The ones who know their bible and can answer every question in a knowledgeable way. (not that this is wrong). It is just intimidating to a world of people who don't know Christ yet. They feel uncomfortable and unable to meet the standard they think Christians require.

It's funny how people think you should make these type of people feel uncomfortable. They won't turn from their old ways if we don't preach Hell and Damnation every Sunday. Cause that's what Christ was doing? Beating people over the head with the Bible and dressing in His Sunday Best, intimidating every non-believer. No- Christ wanted nothing more than to show these people love and make them want to seek more. There was something special about Him that drew the type of people I used to turn my nose up to. I would say love the sinner, not the sin. But not want to invest in their lives or really want them to join my church. Not unless they could meet the "Christian Standard"!

So all this being said. I am excited to go to Ed Young's church. What I look forward to is knowing its not going to be the same cookie cutter type of church I am used to. Knowing he didn't poison our church. His church is an example of how I hope for C3 to look one day. Not because of the "fame and glory" that comes with being a "mega church" . But because I know that means we have reached that many more for Christ. And that's what it's all about!

So Ed Young....here I come!

The Ten Commandments

I think I had these memorized by the time I was eight. Plus I had them memorized from the King James Version. Probably why I didn't spend much time reading my Bible as a child. I needed the "Hillbilly Version".
I am reading Deuteronomy 5. Moses was taking time to review the law and explain it further, before they entered the promised land.

In the side section of my bible it asks the question- Do these commandments apply to us? Answer(from Quest Bible)- Yes. The Ten Commandments provide timeless moral principles that form the fabric of the Judeo-Christian ethic.

Second Question from Bible- Should we obey or ignore Old Testament law?(go to Gal. 3 1-25) Which I did......so go with me.

Answer from Bible- God gave Moses, some 430 years after God established his covenant with Abraham. Paul points out that God has declared Abraham righteous before the law existed. Therefore, Paul claims, obeying the law could not be the basis for a relationship with God. Faith is the only basis for that relationship. The law was never intended to take the place of faith. It was never designed to give the people of Israel a list of rules by which they could earn salvation. Rather, the law served only to show them how far short of God's standards they fell.

It then goes on to explain how we are not bound to fulfill the requirements of the Old Testament to earn favor from God. You can't earn salvation. Paul claims it is a curse if it is used this way. Salvation is a free gift from God that we are able to receive through Christ who died on the cross.

So all this got me interested in Paul and Galatians. My Bible explained that Paul had written it to denounce and correct false teachings that had infiltrated the churches Paul and Barnabas had earlier established. Paul was being accused of teaching the gospel in a water-downed way to increase his popularity. His goal was to was to teach the gospel. The only way you could receive Christ.

It's funny how I had gotten so caught up in Religion. Even though I always hated being recognized for being a Baptist and not a Christ Follower. I was caught up in being "Baptist" Sometimes churches can do more harm than good. But that is a whole other subject!

God is teaching me so much. I see things differently and read my bible with more compassion! It's like Amanda talking about feeling inadequate about politics. I feel that way about being a Christian. I feel there is this painted picture that everyone expects you to look like. I can now accept I am not perfect, I don't have to pretend I am perfect and know the only opinion that matters is God's! Like I say... I am a work in progress.

Patiently Waiting

I really want to go to Dallas this weekend, but I don't think it is going to work out. I am pouting, but also trying to have a good attitude. I guess I secretly think that it will all work out and I can go.

But when I think about it.....who wants to stay home all weekend with two children under the age of 4 and 2 dogs ( one being a puppy). I would feel guilty thinking about them the whole time anyways.

I am actually having a quiet day. I got to take a nap and go to the grocery store. There is something to be said about taking Monday easy. I am currently drinking my diet coke trying to wake up. Second favorite caffeine drink next to coffee!

Funday is Sunday

I wasn't sure if I was going to make it to church on Sunday, because of the race. We ended up leaving early to beat the traffic. Which I am glad we did, but we missed the awesome end!

I really needed to hear the message this morning. I feel like I've been running full speed. I know this because I've been moody.

Rest!?! You mind can only handle so much before, it starts malfunctioning. And you know what I mean. You start with small mistakes, that turn into big mistakes. That's why I never understood working yourself to death. At some point you can't be performing at your best. Your mind becomes mush.

As women I think we just cry. What to men do? I notice that my husband becomes quiet and wants to be alone. The company he used to work for about ran him into the ground. He worked 10+ hours a day. The phone rang late at night and all weekend. Our life revolved around his work schedule. I would get mad and take it out on him. We didn't get along to well back then. He just didn't have anything left by the time he was done working. His mind was mush! It got to the point I wanted him to quit and go live in a van down by the river. ( I should look for that on you tube).

We are much happier now with a normal work schedule. Jeff was about to run himself into an early grave and he was missing watching his children grow. I really thought we would end up divorced. (because I was selfish).

It's amazing how we drive our self to exhaustion. And then when we get to that point, we try to find rest by ourselves. I am guilty to forget there is one Person who can truly give me rest. True Rest. I am not saying I think life should be easy or a walk in the park. In fact, I believe the world will only get harder each year.

I hope I learn to first look to Yahweh for rest. Instead of my normal rest searching techniques. My way only leads to a short lived, brief rest. A kind of fake rest. Maybe this is why older people look forward to dying and having final rest with Christ. I am only half way through life and am exhausted. I am sure I will look forward to my final rest by then too! (O.K. that was a little morbid!)

On a side note, I am trying really hard to work it out so I can fly out to Dallas and meet the Youth this weekend. Pray that doors will open and I will be able to go!

7-7-07

Thought the date looked cool!

The last two days have been hard for me to find time to blog. Our internet connection was down yesterday morning. Which was my only free time to write.

I have started Deuteronomy. Moses is giving his final words to the Israelites before they enter the promised land. He challenged them to not make the same mistakes as their parents. He retells the history of past mistakes and lack of faith. God had not forgotten what He had promised!

What amazes me is Moses attitude. I would have found it hard to encourage people and talk about the wonderful blessings that await them, knowing I would never enter Canaan. I think I would have been bitter.

I think I've been "programmed" to only do things if there is going to be immediate satisfaction or a prize at the end of the race. For example, in the work place.....people are more apt to work harder if there is a bonus in it. Companies are always looking for ways to motivate their employees.

What would happen if we didn't see the results in our life time? Would we give up and say forget it? We would like to think we wouldn't.

Moses is my hero! He never expected God to reward him for his great leadership, he was a very humble man. I wish I had 10% of the qualities that he had! I am a work in progress.

New Blog

www.wardonthego.blogspot.com

Mobile Blogging

Mobile Blogging-trying to figure this one out!

God is Good All the Time.....

Isn't it great that we have one Person in our life who is "Good all the time"!!!

The past two days I've been really moody with my children. I've lost all patience with them. I am letting the little things build up into big things. I think I thought that raising children would be easy because I was a teacher. I've been slacking this summer! Maybe out of guilt from working this past year. I know I am doing them no justice, time to put the hammer down. Time to be 99% consistent with discipline!

O.K. I feel better now that is off my chest.

On a side note.....Kaelyn informed me that she didn't like Jesus. I was really taken back. I thought maybe I misunderstood her. But I didn't. I guess she had flipped through The Passion Book at her Grandma's and the pictures of "Big Jesus" as she called him, scared her. So don't be disturbed if you hear her say this. I've got to go find happy Jesus pictures!

and all the time, God is good!

Friends - TOW All The Resolutions

Good Morning

I've got nothing this morning. We are currently in Melbourne. Jeff's childhood friend is in town with his son, so we were doing some visiting. I also got to do some kid free shopping. I bought Jeff some new flips and jeans at AE. I have to take the jeans back. They are slim fit boot cut. They are really tight on his calves. It reminded me of the leather pants that Ross had on in an episode of friends.

Kaelyn and Heath were not impressed with our private firework show. The first one that made a sound, sent both indoors. Not to mention that Heath burnt two fingers on a sparkler. I guess they are not ready yet!

Side note to Angie- I love your long comments. It reminds me of passing notes in school!

I talked to Andrea for a little last night! I am jealous of her going to camp. It brought back a lot of good memories from camp last year. I told her I will have to text message her some pranks. You know your going to miss me!

Well that is it for now, maybe I'll write more tonight!

The message on Sunday got me thinking about what it's like to feel like an inferior Christian. I don't now, but I used too. I imagine there are more people out there like me too. (using the word like a lot)

I've always hated praying out loud in front of other people. I was intimidated by how eloquent other people could pray. If I was asked to pray, I felt like I was in the spotlight and I had to do a good "show". Plus you think people will judge just how good of a Christian you are by your prayer.

I thought if didn't have on the right "Sunday Clothes", bring my bible( make sure it looks like it's been used and worn from all the reading), know all the songs.......they would revoke my membership. Now, no one every told me you had to do all these things.......I just felt I would be judged if I didn't.

That's what I love about C3 and this blogging thing! I am not at a church where I feel like everyone has their Sunday Mask on. I know the staff's hearts. I don't feel like they are part this club that I could never met their standards. I don't have to pretend I am something I am not.

I can't tell you the weight that has been lifted of my chest since I spilled out my guts. I can't hide behind my Sunday Mask. I am not going to put on a show, so people think I am a "good" Christian. I have learned more about myself in the past month, then in a life time. I know there is still more of me to find too!

God's not done with me...I am a work in progress!

I can't think of a title?!?

I feel a little more refreshed today. I tried to take a nap yesterday, but neither of my children would cooperate. So, by the end of the night I was a little loopy!
I do have good news! Jeff bought me an iphone! It only took me half a day to activate it. I can't not believe how awesome it is.

Some more good news....Jeff's mom is giving us free tickets to the race this weekend. Although I thing I am crazy to get it that mess!

I am looking forward to my nap!

12 am- Dog barks, I am a sucker and let him in bed.
2 am- I wake up to feel a small hairy headed child in my bed. I panicked because she was under the covers and I couldn't feel her breathing. She was!
4 am- Heath cries for the 3rd time since he was asleep. I put the dog back in the cage and Heath in the bed with us. I am thankful for my king size bed.
6am- Dog barks to go outside. Heath is out of bed 5 min. later, crying"JUICE!"
8am- I am so tired, I am going to have to push myself to get my coffee and start the day!

By the way....I did say a prayer that the dog would stop barking at 4 am and He answered my prayer.

Sunday is my Funday!

Again, I can't tell you how much I love my church and the atmosphere. I walk in with a new attitude and a new outlook. I am experiencing true worship. Not that I faked it before, it is just different for me. A good different.

I loved the sermon. Especially since I am reading in the old testament. I think sometimes I stayed away from the Bible because I was so intimidated. It's scary to sit in church and have the pastor call out a book and you feel like an idiot because you can't get there fast enough. Or the pastor reads about people in the bible, who you have no idea who they are. But, you sit there and pretend like you do. Nobody wants to feel inadequate! I used to think someone would think I really wasn't a "good" Christian if I didn't know my Bible backwards and forwards.

I can't quote scripture that well and the language is hard to understand sometimes. I finally bought a Quest Bible (which I don't know if there is any controversy on it, heaven forbid!) It has good references and side notes. It explains the confusing terms and language. I can honestly say I enjoy reading my Bible now. Mostly because I read it with a new attitude. I read because I want to know Jesus better.

Jeff goes to a gym who's motto is "Judgement Free Zone" I finally feel that way about my Bible. It's not this scary book that sits on my shelf, that I pretend to know. My church doesn't love me any less because I can't quote scripture front to back. (is that the saying?) There is no list of names of who knows the Bible better. I don't feel intimidated anymore!